There is a saying in Spanish, “En la cama y en la cárcel se conocen los amigos.” (In bed and in jail is where friends are known). In other words, when you are sick or in trouble, the times when you most need someone by your side, is when you know who your real friends are.

Who are your real friends? Who are you important to and who can you count on in your time of need? Who loves you and cares for you enough to be there when you most need them? Who wants to be by your side in your time of need and wouldn’t have it any other way?

Many people think that Joe became sick after we were married. They are surprised to find out that he became sick just a little after we first met. They ask me why I married him knowing he was sick? My answer is always the same, “How could I have not?! He was the love of my life and my best friend! I couldn’t imagine a life without him!” The fact is that, yes, I took care of him in some ways. But, he took care of me in many other ways, too.  We took care of each other. And, neither of us would have had it any other way. And, if we could, both of us would do it again, in a heartbeat.

It is very sad how people tend to love conditionally.  I will “love” you only if…only if you’re good looking, tall enough, thin enough…only if you are healthy…only if you are popular…only if you have a career, a job, money…only if you can take care of me and I don’t have to take care of you.

These people want others to take care of them. But, they are not willing to take care of other people.

They miss out on true love and true friendships because they don’t see the people they are with. They only see the outside. They only see what they look like, what they do, and what they have – not who they are.

Then, they wonder why their relationships don’t last. How can anything based on conditions, on the surface, with no depth, last forever? It doesn’t.

True love is unconditional.  True love is loving people for who they are, not for what they look like, what they do, or what they have.  True love is about wanting to be with them in sickness and in health, in happiness and in sadness, in wealth and in need. It is being happy seeing them grow and glad to be there to hold them when they stumble. It is enjoying their presence, enjoying being with them, experiencing life with them and through them.

True love is wanting to be with them when they need you and them wanting to be with you when you need them. You both do it with love because you want to, not because you have to. It is not a burden.  For you both, it is an honor.

Start Again, Not Over…

Attention

• Pay Attention to the people around you.

• Do you love anyone this way?

• Does anyone love you the same way?

• Are they important to you?

• Are you glad to be able to help them?

• Are you important to them?

• Are they happy to help you when you need them.

• Can you count on them in your time of need?

If yes…

Intention

Make the Intention to appreciate and strengthen these real loving relationships.  They bring love and joy to your life.  They are worth your attention and action. Make the intention to nourish these relationships whenever and as often as possible.

Action

• Don’t take these wonderful relationships for granted.

• Be thankful and show your appreciation.

• Do special things for them whenever you can.

• Don’t just call them or pay attention to them when you need them.

• Start noticing them now.

• Show them they are important to you.

• Contact them just to say I love you and thank you.

If not or not enough…

Intention

Make the Intention to give yourself the opportunity to find these true loving relationships. Make the intention to not complicate your life by being with the wrong people. Life is too short to be with people who are not important to you and people, whom you are not important to. Life is too short to be with people you do not care about enough to want to help and people who do not care about you enough to want to help you. Make the intention to surround yourself with as many people you love and people who love you as possible.

Action

• Find new friends.

• Find people you like.

• Find people you want to be with.

• Find people you enjoy being with.

• Find people you would not mind helping.

• Find people who feel the same way about you.

• Find people who love you.

• Find people who you can count on in your time of need.

• Distance yourself from unsatisfactory relationships.

• Distance yourself, especially, from toxic relationships.  You know which ones. You will not find real loving relationships as long as you have toxic relationships blocking them from your life. You deserve better!

How do you plan to nourish the true loving relationships in your life? and/or How do you plan to find real friends, real loving relationships?

Feel free to share your thoughts below.  We would love to hear from you.